If you’re interested in learning a bit about what we do at Peacemaker Ministries and what we’ve been up to lately, our most recent quarterly Harvest Report is now available online!

Click here to download the PDF.

By Dale Pyne, CEO of Peacemaker Ministries

“He has risen, He has risen! Praise God, Jesus has risen from the dead!”

That might have been the cry from Peter and others when they found the empty tomb of Jesus. But it was not. Instead they were bewildered, speculating among themselves what had happened to Jesus’ body.

Why? we ask. Why would Peter doubt? After all, Jesus himself told Peter and the other disciples that the crucifixion and resurrection would take place. Mark writes, “He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this…” (Mark 8:31-32 NIV).

In fact, after Jesus “plainly” told Peter of his impending crucifixion, Peter pulled Jesus aside and began to rebuke him. We would think that later Peter would remember that teaching moment well, since Jesus responded to his rebuke with, “Get behind Me, Satan! You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of man” (Mark 8:33 NIV).

Wouldn’t you remember a rebuke like that? I have thought to myself on occasion, “If I had been there, seeing the miracles of God, or walking and talking with Jesus, I wouldn’t have doubted.”

But here are the facts. Today we have a distinct advantage over Peter. We have the written, living Word of God. We see a more complete story in a larger context than Peter did. We have the testimony and fellowship of the body of Christ. And ultimately, we have the Spirit of God living within us. Yet we, like Peter, sometimes question God. We, like Peter, sometimes deny the Lord. And we, like Peter, forget the very things God promised us.

Why do we call these “blind spots” anyway? Because we sometimes cannot see what is right in front of us.

As a mediator, I often have a front row seat to the reality of broken relationships. As peacemakers, we may be especially sensitive to the struggles of life in family, church and community. From an objective viewpoint, it seems so easy to identify heart issues in others, yet when we ourselves are in the middle of conflict, this is not the case. We end up just like Peter, often not “setting our mind on the things of God, but the things of man.” We act on our own and for our own benefit.

Here is some good news – in spite of Peter being a slow learner, rebuking Jesus, and even denying Christ, God empowered and used him in mighty ways to establish the church of Christ. What does that mean for us?

He has risen! He has risen! In spite of our blindness, our brokenness, and our inability to love God and others on our own, God draws us to himself and grants “incomparably great power for us who believe… which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead” (Ephesians 1:19-20a NIV). It is only by his grace that can we love him or love others. Yet he changes us, allows us to see where we are blind, and now through his resurrection power, he uses us to make a difference in the lives of others.

I thank God for His willingness to use us all as his vessels of peace in a broken world. And I thank you, our Peacemaker community, for your significant contributions of time, talent and treasure, without which we could not continue forward with this vital ministry. I am especially mindful of the intentional effort many of you are making to persevere as we navigate through our time of transition. Thanks to each and every one of you. May God richly bless you as together we celebrate the risen Savior this week and all year long.

How reliable are our memories, really?

I’m not trying to pull a “Matrix” move on you, I just think a lot of us think of our recollections as completely without error while in reality our remembrances of things past can be fuzzy and, especially when relating to a conflict or relationship-gone-sour, it can be biased. This is why it’s so important to think charitably about others and to be certain that we’ve gotten the log out of our own eye.

Andy Naselli has a great post about our memories that relates directly to this and expounds a bit on how shaky our memories are. He offers three lessons that I’ve listed below on this strange facet of our mind:

Lesson 1: Your Memory Might Not Be As Accurate as You Think

Lesson 2: Your Memory Tends To Privilege You

The way our minds store and remember information tends to give ourselves but not others the benefit of the doubt. That’s one reason that Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.

Lesson 3: Your Memories May Result in a Relational Impasse

There are times when trying to achieve resolution seems to make matters worse. People remember what has already taken place differently. And they disagree about how to move forward. It is an impasse, a hopelessly complicated knot. Despite prayer, despite efforts, despite meeting after meeting, reconciliation seems impossible. . . .

This is not because there is any deficiency in God’s Word. It is because we are fallen people who do not always think alike. (pp. 179–80, emphasis added)

To read further explanation of his points, read the whole thing.

Ken Sande, founder of Peacemaker Ministries and author of The Peacemaker, is on the Focus on the Family radio broadcast these next two days. We invite you to listen in!

Here’s the first day:

Several people within and connected to Peacemaker Ministries commended this video that features Chuck Swindoll speaking at a chapel service at Dallas Theological Seminary in 2009.

Dr. Swindoll was addressing a topic — conflict — that he says is one of those “things they never told me about while I was going through school — yet they are often the things that seem to occupy so much of our time and attention when we’re engaged in ministry.” In his talk, he looks at the “sharp disagreement” that took place between the Apostle Paul and Barnabas as chronicled in Acts 15 and particularly considers how it reflects on ministry relationships (i.e., people that work together in ministry).

Here’s the video:

In the last half, Dr. Swindoll mentioned four lessons he draws from the passage:

1. In a disagreement, work hard to see both viewpoints (not just your own). Phil 2:3-4
2. When both sides have good support, seek a wise compromise.
3. If the conflict persists, care enough to work it through rather than just stomp out and leave.
4. If it cannot be resolved, graciously agree to disagree … and sometimes even agree to separate.

These are good points to remember, and there’s much to unpack there. Point number three certainly summarizes much of what we strive to do at Peacemaker Ministries. I’m guessing that most of us think we’ve reached point #4 far earlier than we ought, perhaps even before we’ve sought help and really tried to “work it through. Yet it raises good questions: What does graciously agreeing to disagree look like? When is it really appropriate to agree to separate?  And when should go back to step three (rinse and repeat!)? How is all this different depending on the context — marriage? Ministry? Work? Neighbors? Extended family? Church relationships?

Anyway, if you have 40 minutes, it’s totally worth a listen/watch.

We’re only a few weeks away from the NorthWest Regional Event (a mini-conference on peacemaking) in Portland, OR (March 15-16). One of the things we’re excited about digging into there is the question, “What does peacemaking look like when the culture around us is hostile to what we are trying to do?”

To help lead us in this discussion, we are pleased to have Dr. Brian Mattson, Senior Scholar of Public Theology for the Center of Cultural Leadership, as the keynote speaker at this event. It should be a fun and engaging topic to consider.

Brian has recently begun creating a set of short videos that discuss various aspects of Christianity and Culture, and his latest of the series can be seen below. Take a look to see the type of thoughts Brian will help us consider:

If you are anywhere near the Pacific Northwest, we’d love to have you take part in this event — it’s not often we have an event this size in this region. Space is limited, so register soon!

I really liked this quote from Randy Alcorn in his article, “Uncoolness, Tolerance, and Christ’s Bride the Church“:

A church is a gathering of people diverse in race, occupation, age and gender. When those who are already the same in these areas are united, it is not as great a testimony to Christ’s grace as when those who are very different are united in the same Lord.

I also liked his picture of the diversity in generations loving each other well:

I love it when young people and old people are part of the same churches, showing each other grace and tolerance and speaking the truth, but doing so in love. I love it when the old are not shaking their heads in disapproval of the way the young dress, their jewelry and tattoos, the way they speak, and the songs they sing. I love it when the young are not rolling their eyes at the way older people dress, the way they speak, and the music they sing.

 

As we prepare for the 2013 Peacemaker Conference September 26-29 in Columbus, Ohio and focus on the topic “Remarkably Different” (see Romans 12:1-2), we have asked some of our speakers, instructors, and staff to share their thoughts on the conference and theme. We hope these posts will go beyond basic information about the conference and allow you to see the heart behind it. Below is the first of this series, featuring keynote speaker Tara Barthel. As you read it,  ask the Lord to reveal how you can be “remarkably different” for His glory.

(And please note: the “Smokin Hot Deal“, where you can purchase a conference registration and receive 50% off any Pre-Conference Training, ends February 1). 

by Tara Barthel

Just over a month ago, my mother died in my sister’s arms. I was only minutes away—but my multiple flights from Montana just couldn’t connect to Michigan in time.

Our story—a mother dying, her daughters rushing to her bedside—may not seem that remarkably different. But what if I told you that my mother lived for decades as an undiagnosed suicidal bipolar woman who was self-medicating with Scotch?[1] That my sister and I endured countless hours of neglect and even what would appropriately be described as abuse as a result of my mother’s mental challenges, addictions, sinful heart, and unwise decisions?

Would you find it remarkable if I were to tell you that every single day this past month, I have missed my mother and ached with grief for my mother—even though, for many years, she stole money from me, told lies about me, and slurred horrible things to me:

 “I hate you, Tara! You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me! I wasted my life caring for you. You’re a demon sent from hell to torment me. I wish you had never been born!”

How in the world do you move from that level of emotional abuse to an intimate, real, love-soaked relationship? There is only one way:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1–2

When God saved me as a teenager, He adopted me into His family and this meant placing me under the umbrella of care, counsel, and protection of my local church. When I was sixteen years old and I had to pull my mother’s head out of a gas oven during her suicide attempt, it was friends in the church who gave me a home—both figuratively and literally.[2] My church leaders advised me with the love of a shepherd caring for his baby sheep. And my fellow church members never allowed me to turn my back on my mother, even when it would have been so much easier to do so.

I was taught not only to read and memorize Romans 12:1-2, but to live it out:

Romans 12:1

I honored my mother and even loved my mother not because she deserved it and not because it made me feel good—but as an act of worship of God, in view of His amazing mercy. God loved me when I was yet His enemy (Romans 5:10); Jesus clearly says that we are to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44) … so in my personal situation, my worst enemy happened to be my mother? Well. Who am I to quibble with God’s sovereign choice of placing me in my mother’s womb? He understands my suffering. He has always been with me. He works all things together for His glory and my good. And so, I love my mother and I bless my mother and I pray for my mother because I have been loved, blessed, and prayed for by God Himself. This is my spiritual act of worship.

Romans 12:2

Do you know what the pattern of this world is? It’s the same as how pagans and tax collectors treat people (Matthew 5:43-48): love the people who love you. Big deal! That is the easiest thing in the world to do. Be nice to the people who are nice to you? Honor parents who deserve it? Trust people who have never let you down? How do any of those actions require faith and dependence on God alone? Where is the suffering? When do you ever pick up your cross and follow Jesus? But now: you are called to love the unlovable; forgive the unforgivable; move toward that broken, scared, selfish, lonely person, rather than running away from her. This is only possible because we have been supernaturally transformed by the renewing of our minds. We are no longer who we once were. We have been made new. We see how broken, scared, selfish and lonely we would forever be—apart from Christ. And so we relate to the most messed-up, neediest person in our lives—not from a place of superiority or “other-ness.” But we can honestly say, “I am just like you. Your weaknesses don’t even come close to measuring up to my weaknesses. We both need the Savior! Let us run to Him.”

And so, after my mother died only a few weeks ago, I still think about her all the time. I go to call her ten times a day—especially when my young children do something particularly funny that I know she would enjoy. But I have absolutely no regrets regarding the reconciled state of our relationship. It was not easy to build a relationship with her. (I blog often on what wisdom and love look like when you’re talking about relationships with practicing addicts or people with destructive mental illnesses.) It was not easy to forgive her or to begin to view her with compassion and care. It was also not easy to face up to my own failings in our relationship and seek her forgiveness too. But I am so grateful that the Lord and His people helped me to do so.

My mother was a wonderful woman. (You can read my eulogy for her here.) And I would have missed out on a treasure in life if I had walked away from her as a young adult because relationship with her was too messy and hard, exhausting and embarrassing, heart-wrenchingly painful. Oh, how I thank God that our relationship ended up being “remarkably different” from what you would normally expect. This is one of the greatest evidences of God’s grace in my life that I have ever had. I pray the same for you—for all of your seemingly hopelessly broken relationships. God’s grace really is sufficient! In our weakness, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9).

To quote my Redeeming Church Conflicts coauthor, Dave Edling:

“We can carry the hope of being remarkably different because His available grace is uniquely remarkable.”

Amen & Amen! (And looking very forward to meeting you in person in Ohio this September!)

Your sister in Christ,

TaraBarthel.com

Vitamin Z posted an awesome quote from Time Keller’s The Reason for God that I wanted to share. I don’t want to post the whole quote so there’s just a little bit of it below, but it’s definitely worth the minute or two of your time to read the whole thing.

Why would such an exclusive belief system lead to behaviour that was so open to others? It was because Christians had within their belief system the strongest possible resource for practicing sacrificial service, generosity, and peace-making. At the very heart of their view of reality was a man who died for his enemies, praying for their forgiveness. Reflection on this could only lead to a radically different way of dealing with those who were different from them. It meant they could not act in violence and oppression toward their opponents.

We cannot skip lightly over the fact that there have been injustices done by the church in the name of Christ, yet who can deny that the force of Christians‘ most fundamental beliefs can be a powerful impetus for peace-making in our troubled world?

Read the rest.

Tim Challies wrote a really great post yesterday addressing Christians and how the way we comment on blogs. It’s important for all of us to remember that the way we communicate in any medium is a reflection of what’s in our hearts.

What Scripture teaches in both the Old Testament and the New is that everything you say online, just like everything you say in your home and church and workplace, is a reflection of your heart. The Bible tells us time and again that the tongue is connected to the heart. The words that come out of your mouth simply reflect what’s going on at a spiritual level. This is equally true of the words that fly off your fingers when you are tapping away at a keyboard. Angry and bitter words are necessarily the product of an angry and bitter heart.

So we are dealing with a two-part problem: We underestimate the power of our words and this allows us to misuse them. Meanwhile, the Internet enhances our ability and even our desire to use words carelessly. And before we know it, we are leaving harsh, angry, unkind, sarcastic comments on blogs.

Read the rest