I’ve been slowly working my way through Chris Brauns’ book Unpacking Forgiveness. I hope to post a fuller set of comments once I complete the book, but I wanted to take some time today to comment on the chapter that I completed this morning, “The Way Up is Down” (chapter six).

In this chapter, Brauns is beginning to take a look at what we all agree is some of Scripture’s most bedrock teaching on conflict, Matthew 18. When we’re teaching “the Matthew 18 process” here at PM, we always try to frame it with the stories that immediately precede and follow Jesus’ “core teaching” in verses 15-20. In other words, what Jesus is teaching on resolving conflict (“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault…”) should be read in light of the parable of the lost sheep (verses 10-14: God rescues those who stray, and we are to do the same) and the parable of the unforgiving servant (verses 21-35: we cannot refuse to forgive someone, in light of the great debt that we ourselves have been forgiven).

In Unpacking Forgiveness, Brauns begins his look at Matthew 18 with verse 1, where Jesus’ disciples are arguing about who is the greatest in the Kingdom; Jesus responds to them by upholding a child (someone of little standing in their community, who is dependent on others) as the paradigmatic Kingdom citizen. In other words, Brauns says, “the way up is down,” and “true humility [is] the legitimate path to greatness” (page 79).

And then he draws the link between humility and conflict:

Now remember, Jesus delivers this lesson on humility in the context of teaching on conflict resolution and forgiveness. We see quickly how relevant humility is to those situations. First, true humility nips conflict in the bud. In one way or another, selfish pride causes all quarrels and fights (James 4:1-10; Matthew 7:1-5). Second, if we are truly humble, then when we do have conflicts, they will be resolved far more quickly (page 79) .

I thought this whole chapter was excellent and challenging, but I wanted to close with what I thought was a particularly key point. Brauns points out that pride “is not limited to arrogance or cockiness; it is not just an inflated opinion of oneself. Pride is any way of putting self into the central focus” (81, emphasis mine). He then goes on to list some of the more subtle, insidious ways that pride manifests itself in our lives. See if you can claim to not get “trapped” somewhere (or everywhere!) in this list (emphasis is mine, but otherwise I’m quoting Brauns):

• Are you overly critical? Discernment is a good thing (Philippians 1:9-11; Romans 12:1-2). But discerning people sometimes go a step too far in feeling the need to critique everything. Pride is the root problem.
• Are you insecure? Insecurity often betrays a person too narrowly focused on self.
• Are you shy? … Is it because your central concern is how you will appear in front of others?
• Are you overly sensitive? People who are too sensitive sometimes imagine criticisms when they have not been given because they center too much on themselves.
• Do you tend to presume upon others? Are you slow to meet with others or follow throw? Do you do poorly at returning phone calls? Any of those may reflect a tendency to elevate self.
• Are you impatient with the shortcomings of others? …
• Do you find yourself easily embarrassed by friends or family? This many indicate that you are too concerned with how others make you appear.
• Are you given to worry? Worry may betray self-reliance (or at least relying on someone other than God).

(quotes from page 81 of Unpacking Forgiveness)

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